WOW!! Is it time!!!! And YES I am pouting!!!!

So it is way past midnight and I am up looking at pictures from Eastons blessing just a week ago. I am huge and disgusting!!! Here I have this gorgeous baby and I can't get past anything but my HUGE SELF!!! Selfish? Yes. Embarrassing? Yes!! Such a special day and the majority of it for me was spent worrying about my looks (and judging by the pictures I have plenty of reason to worry)! I know I am the only one to read this and it is more of a diary than anything but all the more reason to bust out a vision board!!!!! I honestly do not even recognize myself anymore!

Too late tonight for the vision board but it is next!!!!!!!! I need help and if that doesn't do it nothing will!

Why does one sabotage themselves? I do not understand how I let myself get to this point!!!!!!!!!!!

YAY ME!

Well I did it! I joined Lady Fitness, it's a gym just for girls and it is not even a block away from my house. So no excuses right? They even have a day care!

I went to my first class two nights ago and hope to go again today. I decided to do the basic step class since I use my step at home a lot. Well I am gonna go ahead and say that it was anything but basic. Lot's of fun but a full hour of it kicked my butt!! I totally got schooled by some old ladies and I am still sore.

I will admit it was hard to get myself there...I was so caught up in my fatness and what people would think of me. I went back and forth for so long I was a little late for the class. I finally told myself..."I can sit here and stress about the way I look or I can go and do something about it" So I did and since it was aerobics I was able to get in a full hour without hating every minute of it!!

This morning I woke up determined to go work out and somehow I ended up eating breakfast at McDonald's instead. Ugh! So now I am determined to hit the 4:30 Zumba class...I hope by blogging about it, it will help me get there. They always say to write your goals down. So it has been written (or typed rather) lets see if I can get it done :)